A darkly comic meditation on finding someone else's underwear in your dryer and the existential crisis that follows.
[Verse 1] Found a pair of Calvin Klein boxer briefs Stuck between my thermal socks and disbelief Size medium, navy blue with a hole near the seam Now I'm questioning everything, including this washing machine [Chorus] Whose underwear is this anyway? Did my Maytag have an affair today? I'm standing here in my basement kingdom Holding evidence of someone else's freedom [Verse 2] Called the landlord, he just laughed and wheezed Said the previous tenant left in a hurry, if you please But these boxers smell like Tide and yesterday's hope Not like someone packing quick with a shortened rope [Chorus] Whose underwear is this anyway? Did my Maytag have an affair today? I'm standing here in my basement kingdom Holding evidence of someone else's freedom [Bridge] Maybe I should frame them on the wall A monument to mysteries both big and small Or donate them to Goodwill's lost and found Where abandoned underwear makes the world go round [Outro] Keep them in my junk drawer next to batteries A reminder that life's full of strange conspiracies
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